#8

In my state I felt a bit ogreish but I’m sure Clops was used to it.

We sat down and I asked for the usual, out of habit. Clops was fumbling inside his pocket, so I told him his water pistol gag wouldn’t work this time.
“No, no, I’ve got some paper for rubbings,” he said, pulling out a roll of creamy toilet paper and a 4B lead pencil. He put the pencil in his mouth and began rubbing the tabletop with the paper.
“Clops...what are you doing?” I asked.
“Making a rubbing,” he answered.
“Rubbing doesn’t mean polishing... you have to use the pencil...here give it to me before you hurt yourself.”
Powder puffed out a deep breath. “What’s wrong with you guys...I smell a Dr. Doesit.”
Clops frowned and blurted out, “It’s prescriptive... we needed it to discover where Sai stashed his stash.”
Powder was called to the kitchen so she spun around and said, “You should be careful, there are Figments everywhere and they’re looking for you, Sai.”
You know I really don’t like being a paranoid but it seemed that now would be the best time. As I glanced around the room I could swear I was in the midst of a dark and murderous circus of unbelievables.
Clops was making some very strange noises and when I turned to look at him, my eyes ran across the tabletop.
Someone had removed the table top philosophy. Then I saw Clops’ good eye twitching and tears sliding down his cheek.
“Pull yourself together man,” I said, “It wasn’t like it was a hyroglith though you’re looking somewhat like a hydroglith.”
“We have to talk to Powder, she knows what we need to know,” I said while thinking about the lingerie headgear.
Clops leaned over and whispered in my ear. “Someone once told me that I look like a cicada after I’ve cried...do I?
”Well, Clops... now that you mention it, you kind of do,” I replied.
He was about to turn on the faucet again but there was a commotion in the kitchen that stunted his sensitivity.
I could hear the cook screaming, “This fuzzy green fish is a specialty!”
Everyone in the place spit what they had in their mouths out onto their tables. Then I heard Powder say, “Haven’t you noticed the unfathomable reek in here.”
“It may be smelly but this is the only restaurant that serves this delicacy,” said the cook.
Everyone resumed and consumed the rest of their fish when they heard ‘delicacy’.

Powder came rushing out of the kitchen looking very
fed up. She ripped off her apron and threw it at the
disturbed masked man. He grabbed it and began
beating it with the flyswatter while shouting, “I am not
a heterosexual.”
“Let’s get out of here,” she said. So we followed her like a couple of price tags not yet clipped from her tight but nicely formed jeans.
Clops said to me, “Good thing I have only one eye... with two it would be too much.”
Understanding perfectly well what he was talking about, I closed my good right eye and said, “I know what you mean.”
Before we had reached the door, the rough lookers who went to the bathroom earlier came rushing through the drapes.
“There he is, let’s get him,” and they bolted towards us.
Clops yelled, “Get going, I’ll stop them.” He turned around, stretched out his elastic orangutan arms and flung both of them back over some tables into the drapes.
Powder and I ran down the street around a tight corner, in through a back alley right behind the Slixx.
“We’ve got to get into the bathroom... that’s where I’ve hidden the stash,” she said.
“You’ve hidden it...but I’m supposed to have hidden it, haven’t I?”